Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Feeling Sad

I know I know it has been a long time since I posted. I sincerely think that this will be the start of just about every post. Anyway, I will start with saying I am tired so please forgive me for any typo's and such. Our boy is having night terrors. I am so so sad that he seemed to inherit this from me. I remember so vividly what it felt like to wake up in the middle of the night simply terrified and having my parents come in and then they would leave to go back to bed while I sat and tried to figure out how I could get them to come back in the room to make me feel safe without getting in trouble. My mom said I asked for water ALOT.
Tommy is saying things like "Momma I am afraid to go back to sleep because some of the bad stuff will happen again" or "Momma I want to be in a room where you can see me" so I am torn between should I let him come to bed with us and risk starting a habit I swore I would never start but running the risk of terrifying my son if I don't help him work through this by feeling safe???? Darcy gave me a website to check out that was helpful but also a bit scary. My parents had to install locks that were high up on the doors so I would not escape when I was a child. My mom said she did once catch me going out the door (which of course is what made the high lock decision for them). Is that in my future with my son? It is all so sad to me. I feel somewhat responsible for passing this on to him. I know that is silly but it is truthfully how I feel. He wakes up to a full on scream that seriously makes you think in our own sleep that someone is killing or trying to steal my son out of his room. So Tony and I are left exhausted during the day. Tonight he was crying before going to bed of fear that he would have a night of the "bad stuff happening" So here I am asking for your prayers. Prayers for peaceful sleep for our boy. Prayer for mine and Tony's continued patience and compassion during what hopefully will just be a temporary condition that comes and goes quickly. Things I have tried so far are quiet time before bed, music in his room, letting him sleep on the floor in our room, laying with him for awhile talking about happy things. If you have any other suggestions I would love to hear them. Tommy has had nightmares in the past but nothing like what we are experiencing now.