Trying to be forgiving

I was in a lock down at school this week because their was a loose gunman in the area. It was the first "real one" we had. I was very proud of myself for the ability to keep it together for the kids. All the while I was plagued with "This is what my friend Rodney had to go through 15 years ago". You see, at my high school 15 years ago someone came into my school and shot several people, killing four people I knew and two I considered friends. Rodney was on a 12- 15 hostage situation. He was locked up in a room with a few other people one being an injured person from the gunfire. 12 - 15 hours can you imagine? I took a small child to use the restroom in the complete darkness and thought of how scary it must have been for him. It leads me to confusion over the last few days. All I can think to do for today is to pray. Pray for Eric Houston (the shooter at my school), Pray for my friend Rodney, Pray for the man that shot and killed his own father this week, Pray for the father that was killed, pray for myself so that I can find it in my heart to forgive. I do know this, that the lack of forgiveness only injures my own soul and heart and gets in the way of my ability to be of service to others.
I had an excellent opportunity to be of service today. I had a graduation party for a very dear friend of mine today. I was honored to be a part of it all. Forgiveness in all areas of my life granted me the ability to do so.

Feeling really lucky today

Well Tony and I went to a fundraiser luncheon today and I have to tell you I am feeling pretty darn lucky today. This event was held in efforts to raise funds for a local community center that our friend Kacie is the executive director of (as many of you already know). She spoke today about how it takes a village to raise just one child. She also spoke about after the recent birth of her twin boys that she is a firm believer in it. Then she posed a question, If it takes a village to raise one child how many does it take to raise over 500 (this is how many the Greenhouse helps) kids that may only have one parent living in a one bedroom apartment with multiple families? It really got me thinking that whenever I may feel a bit frustrated because my three year old is exerting all of his will at least I am surrounded by an amazing village. I am sending many thanks to my village today. Even if you are a villager that lives far away you make an amazing difference. Love to you

Watching my boy get bigger

Today I watched Tommy play soccer for the third time in a few weeks in the class that he is in. It is very bitter sweet to see my baby playing soccer, listening to a coach, becoming so independent. I love all of his milestones but I can't help but think what happen to my little baby?

Anger is no longer my dubious luxury

I had a realization today that I am sure many of you have had already, anger harms everyone who I aim it at but MOSTLY the anger hurts myself. Most of my anger I hold inside so not to harm others, that harms me. Some of my anger I display passive aggressively, that harms other but also harms me. So just for today I will pray to find the answers to diffusing unnecessary anger.